Trust us all on this one - it's one of the best games you'll ever play. Even if you don't like the gameplay or plotline, you can have hours of fun laughing at some of the phrases, accents and the game's physics (blowing people up into trees never tires).

Slight spolier coming:

Personally I'm a sucker for sci-fi plotlines so I liked the fricking laser beams. There's even a cool piece of info you can pick up at the end of the game explaining that the laser was constructed from 2000 year old plans which smacks of aliens though every chat session with Nival I mention this in they strangely skirt around the topic.

It could be a sort of pre-cursor to the formation of X-COM

One things for sure though, we can never have enough variations on A Christmas Carol.

Wait, did I just say that? Someone please castrate me now

Err... It's a little out of the Vikings' way isn't it? Aside from that, if we're talking Native American Indians, why the hell can't they kick arse themselves? I vaguely remember from my history lessons that they were pretty fearsome, numerous and quite handy with a throwing axe.

What's one kid supposed to do?

I think it'd be easier if they like Evil Dead (1, 2 or 3 take your pick) as they'll know the genius that is Bruce Campbell and that impressive jaw-line.

Perhaps add that "Ash off Evil Dead plays Elvis"? Might do the trick.

I'm hoping for a piss-take of all hollywood's current crap all rolled into one film with Samuel L swearing far more than ever and trying to pass itself off as a serious film.

So... hoping it'll get me laughing. I'm sure it will one way or another. I get the impression from the humorous Samuel L voice-email thingummy's that are going about that I've got it right

Was that shortly before Christopher Lee put on his scary-eyes look and donned an even deeper voice and said "...but I will rend the producers limb from limb and scatter their bodies to the four corners of the earth"?

Funny, I can see him doing that.

Sounds rubbish but hey, what do I know?

You're onto something with shit titles though.

At least I get the impression that the upcoming blockbuster-to-end-all-blockbusters that is "Snakes on a Plane" is taking a rather large poke at this and many other Hollywood horrors (shit plots, crap acting, the list goes on).

B-but they're cool! Don't take that image away form me

Genius - I never knew ninjas were so cool.

I went for Thundercats. I had the wallpaper when I was a kid for crying out loud. You just couldn't top it at the time. Okay, maybe with Transformers you could, but I neverwatched it much when I was younger.

Thundercats HO!

Can't say I've read the source material, but I shall heed your warning based on your graphic description

The only line worthy of my attention in that whole article was te ollowing humorous line:

[quote]Discuss going down with the girls again in our forums![/qote]

...and even then I didn't laugh because the rest of the article horrified me.

On the other hand, if Marshall is letting this happen simply because he wishes to roll in a large pile of cash before spending it on making a new, unique, true masterpiece then I'm all for it. If he's just being greedy though... grr.

Either way I doubt I will be watching any sequel.

Also, what's with the Americans? Surely hyping the film up beyond belief is just stupid as most of the fans of this genre with any sense can just rent the European region DVD from Amazon.com leaving only those folks who said things like "I don't get it" at teh original ending to watch it in the cinema?

Yeah, I'm kind of glad I got talked out of watching this at the cinema. I mean, usually The Rock can pull off some amusing acting but I get the impression that you don't need comedy in a film about a game about the hordes of hell... You a need a bit of a Neil Marshall touch

Well summed up that man

I've got another stag do in August and then possibly off to the Lake District in late September. Not a whole lot planned in between.

Oh... two more weddings in August as well. Couldn't the inconsiderate bastards space them out so I'm not constantly skint?