Take a classic British horror film.

Remake it, and have Nicholas Cage play the lead, a police officer sent to investigate the disappearance of a young girl on an island full of pagans.

Add one ghost.

Instead of the main character being a virgin like in the original (because its the 21st century, you see, and there are no virgins any more) make the character allergicto bees.

Add some killer bees.

Change the main bad guy into a girl (to which Christopher Lee, who played the main bad guy in the original, said "What do I think of it being played by a woman, when it was played by a man in 1972, as part of a Scottish pagan community, and now it's played by a woman with the same name? What do I think of it? Nothing. There's nothing to say."

An endorsement if I ever heard one.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0450345

Was that shortly before Christopher Lee put on his scary-eyes look and donned an even deeper voice and said "...but I will rend the producers limb from limb and scatter their bodies to the four corners of the earth"?

Funny, I can see him doing that.

He is a fucking scary bloke alright...

Remakes get on my tits and I'll be honest, after the shower of shit known as The Pink Panther I don't think that this wicker remake can make me vomit as much.

Why don't they just leave them alone?

Can't Holliwank find writers anymore?

Let's hope some of the great classics never get remade.

One things for sure though, we can never have enough variations on A Christmas Carol.

Wait, did I just say that? Someone please castrate me now

Don't worry, I think that one will always be a fave for remaking.

I don't even understand why they bother, because they invariably A) Change the substance so much it has little to do with the original, and put the fans off or B) Keep it exactly the same, and put the fans off. So they're not really pulling a bigger crowd.