The Last Outpost Forums ( http://www.thelastoutpost.co.uk/forums/ )Moving On

Source: http://www.thelastoutpost.co.uk/forums/index.php?gettopic=322

Ivory | March 28, 2006 at 08:59 AM

Does everyone always seem to be moving on faster than you....or are you one of those people who always seems to be ahead of the game?

FullAuto | March 28, 2006 at 12:32 PM

That's pretty difficult for me to judge. I had the advantage of always knowing what I wanted to do, but I was stupid enough to listen to careers advisors and such when they told me I couldn't do it.
I think 'moving on' is highly overrated (if I understand what you meant right). Some people seem to do it just for the sake of it. At the moment, I have my own place (renting), I'm earning enough to pay the bills and I have enough money spare for books, CDs, games and DVDs. I'm pretty content as I am. If I needed a mansion built out of cocaine I'd be working towards it, but I don't need or want to be rich.

But in all fairness, not much of my 'moving on' is intentional. I only moved out because my family were driving me up the wall, I only went to college at the same time for the sake of convenience. It's not like I was moving out solely to be independent, I think that's a pretty stupid reason. You can be married to someone, living with them, and still be independent. You don't ever have to rely on other people unless you want to.

Ivory | March 28, 2006 at 05:59 PM

interesting.

from my point of view it does seem a bit like im trying to move forward, and i want to but things keep getting in the way....and other people seem to see them comming, duck and carry on as if nothing happened whilst i get bogged down and creamed. . . see?

Oh well...hey ho.

silvertongedevil | March 28, 2006 at 09:41 PM

Life is far too short to make plans. Don't take too much notice of how others deal with it, they may look as if they ducked but inside the effort to do that may be taking it's toll in some other way.

FA's got it right. What's the point in aiming for something other people want - it's what you trully want and I mean trully want that you need to look for.

Myself, I get up in the morning and see what mischief I can get up too before it's time for bed. That's it.

And as for parners - I ain't gonna say how long I have lived with the same person but we do our own thing and it's great - because we set 'no rules' mode from the very start.

Smug, ain't I.

FullAuto | March 29, 2006 at 04:17 AM

from my point of view it does seem a bit like im trying to move forward, and i want to but things keep getting in the way....and other people seem to see them comming, duck and carry on as if nothing happened whilst i get bogged down and creamed. . . see?



I'm guessing, but I don't think these people are in the same situation as you. Circumstances vary from person to person, and though they might seem similar (friends from college or uni or a job, doing the same thing, same age, etc) they're generally not. That's the thing. They are similar, and seem to be the same just enough to be disheartening. But that's only seeming, not being. Not a lot of comfort, really.


Shit.

Anyway, these other people have problems hit them, which you dodge (and may not even notice) effortlessly. It's all relative, I feel.

Slaughter | March 29, 2006 at 10:33 AM

As the guys already said, what others are doing is not important. Some people run large businesses by the age of 20, while others never top £1000 a month. Both may be happy or unhappy, feel successful or not. As FullAuto says, if you're content then you're fine.


*rant mode on*
If the reason you look to others is that you're not happy with where you are however, maybe you should do something. I tend to stay at one place for maybe 3 years, and then move on. I stay in touch with the people I really like, and drop the ones I knew out of convenience (you typically spend quite a bit of time with people you don't really connect with through work, studies or mutual friends).

Therefore, if you're not where you want to be, I say fuck it and move! Go to another country if you like. I've done this 4 times already (mostly because of studies, and all inside Norway though), and it always ends well. Meet new people, learn new things and have new opportunities. I don't understand the people that fear moving on. "I have all my friends here. My family lives close by. I have my job here." SO? You'll get new friends where you end up, and you'll see your family in the holidays. Same goes for your "old friends". I understand people that has wife and kids, but a lot of the whiners don't. Job? Most jobs can be had anywhere in the world, and aren't even hard to get. People are limited by the ridicules boundaries they create in their heads.

Anyway, I guess it depends on the person, but most people should travel more. Leaving your family and friends behind is not as big a deal as many think, and you can always come back if it doesn't work out. Don't let the imaginary boundaries hold you back!

cyke | March 29, 2006 at 11:05 AM

The books by Geoff Thompson have done me a lot of good, especially "The Elephant and the Twig"
http://www.thel...d+the+twig.html


Synopsis
This is written as a guide through the process of negative thinking that binds us all. It aims to help you to take the plunge to realize your potential, so that you do not have to remain stuck in a social and lifestyle rut as if there is no alternative.

From the Publisher
14 rules to success from hard man Geoff Thompson
Have you ever heard the story of The Elephant and The Twig? In India they train obedience in young elephants (to stop them from escaping) by tying them to a huge immovable object, like a tree, when they are still very young. The tree is so large that no matter how hard the baby elephant pulls and tugs it cannot break free. This develops what is known as ‘learned helplessness’ in the creature. After trying so hard and for so long to break the hold, only to be thwarted time and again, it eventually believes that, no matter what it does, it cannot escape. Ultimately, as a fully-grown adult weighing several tons, they can tie it to a twig and it won’t escape, in fact it won’t even try.

Do you ever feel like this? That you are tied to an immovable object and can’t break free? That you couldn’t possibly give that presentation at work, that you would never be able to go it alone in business, or that you have to remain stuck in a social and lifestyle rut as there is no other alternative? Rubbish! This book shows you that, when it comes down to it, what ties you and prevents you from realising your potential is only a ‘twig’. Geoff Thompson, renowned martial artist and author of the bestselling autobiography Watch My Back, guides you through the process of breaking the negative thinking that binds us all and helps you to take the plunge and properly take on life.

silvertongedevil | March 29, 2006 at 02:34 PM

Hey chaps - we ought to be on a salary here.

"Aunty TLO's Get Your Shit Together" forum.

MAD AND FUCKED UP MINDS A SPECIALITY - We can't put you right but we can tell you were all the crazies hang out.

Ivory | March 30, 2006 at 07:21 PM

i guess thats the thing-if i WAS content with my lot i wouldnt be here askign this question....i guess i just gotta keep tryng different ways to get where i wanna be.......... *shrug*
thanks guys


(ps-not sure im keen on NO rules rule... lol)

FullAuto | March 30, 2006 at 07:39 PM

Well, in that case you're working TOWARDS being content, I imagine? In which case, it doesn't matter how quickly you get it, you never get it quick enough.

silvertongedevil | March 31, 2006 at 07:55 AM

If you really think that the direction you are going in isn't what you really want, you have got to ask yourself three questions.
1/ Am I being totally honest with myself?
2/ What do I want?
3/ How much do I want it?

Most people think they want something really bad, the truth is very few of us want it enough to persue it whole-heartedly.

In the words of a not so famous song:-

It seems a little scary,
And and it feels a little strange,
But if what you are ain't working,
Then you gotta make a change.

Ivory | April 3, 2006 at 04:46 PM

FA i think you put the nail on the head. i know where im going, and im so impatient to get there, that tommarrow wouldnt be fast enguoh for me ...... patience is a vertue and all that Jazz

FullAuto | April 3, 2006 at 09:18 PM

Aye, it's a bit of a bugger. I wanted to leave home at 14 or 15, but I had to wait until I was 18 until I could. It couldn't have arrived fast enough.

If I had left home the next day after the idea first occurred to me, that might have been quick enough, but I doubt it. All you have to do is wait. I know it's a pain, but at least you're on your way.

Slaughter | April 4, 2006 at 08:45 AM

There should be a law against leaving home later than 18...

Ivory | April 4, 2006 at 04:37 PM

there shoul dbe some kind of support from the governemnt to make it POSSIBLE for peopel who are out earning a decent wage to leave home! you cant get anywhere here for less than 160! (160n thousand that is! its insane!)

Slaughter | April 4, 2006 at 08:58 PM

You mean buy a house / apartment? Or is it really expensive to rent something as well?

FullAuto | April 4, 2006 at 09:06 PM

Both, mate. It gets more expensive the further south you go here in the UK, and although I think Ivory lives somewhere around the middle of the country (fairly close to me, I think), it's still not cheap.

Virtually the only way to do it early on is share a house.

silvertongedevil | April 4, 2006 at 11:14 PM

Ivory: there shoul dbe some kind of support from the governemnt to make it POSSIBLE for peopel who are out earning a decent wage to leave home! you cant get anywhere here for less than 160! (160n thousand that is! its insane!)

The problem is growing and most young people can't afford to live in the community they grew up in, it stinks. Here in Lincolnshire there are people selling one bedroom flats in London and buying large houses here because of the cheapness of the housing. Problem is that pushes up the cost of housing to the point that no one local can afford to live here.

Slaughter | April 5, 2006 at 03:59 PM

FullAuto: Virtually the only way to do it early on is share a house.

Well, I've been living like that for 9 years (with 3-5 other people). Guess it depends on the person in question, but it's not such a problem. Sure beats living with one's parents! The problem with housing prices is common in most countries I guess, so you more or less have to live with someone to afford moving out.

FullAuto | April 5, 2006 at 08:36 PM

I don't mind sharing a house with other people, in fact I think I probably prefer that, but for someone trying to set up a home on their own, or even a lot of young couples (whose work may not pay a lot to begin with), it's just not practical, and in some cases, simply not possible.

Slaughter | April 6, 2006 at 01:02 AM

FullAuto: I don't mind sharing a house with other people, in fact I think I probably prefer that, but for someone trying to set up a home on their own, or even a lot of young couples (whose work may not pay a lot to begin with), it's just not practical, and in some cases, simply not possible.

A young couple can share the expenses as flatmates do, and have the added advantage of only needing one bedroom. Might need more if they start a family, but they should have the good sense to build up a career and economy before doing so. Accidents do happen of course...

Anyway, for most people it is less complicated then it sounds moving out, if they accept below par standards and / or sharing a flat / dorm / whateveryoucallit. Living with other people is a good experience, and most people grow up a little when they move out from their parents house (hence my comment that everyone should move out by the age of 18. When I was in the army I met a lot of people that had never been out of their parents house, and surely needed it...). As I said before, most people are prisoners of their fears and imaginary boundaries. Things aren't as complicated if one is just willing to take a small risk.

Oh, and I don't really mean this as a critique to people that still live at home. Moving out might not work well for everyone, and some has valid reasons. I'm just saying that if someone feels like it might be time to leave the nest, they shouldn't be afraid to do so. The problems we think of with doing so are mostly in our heads.

FullAuto | April 6, 2006 at 03:16 AM

A young couple can share the expenses as flatmates do, and have the added advantage of only needing one bedroom.



Oh aye, of course, but even doing that, it can still be too expensive. But even a small one bedroom flat free of rats can simply cost too much. Especially down in the southern end of the country, where quite frankly prices have been insane for quite a while.

Personally, I enjoyed sharing a house, even when some of the other occupants were arseholes. There are plenty of benefits and few downsides, unless you're living with a real bunch of wankers. Living alone is something I could do and still enjoy, but not as much as with friends.

Ivory | April 17, 2006 at 11:15 AM

the problem comes when you have no one to move out with. unfortunatly if you live in the middle of nowhere, adn work with people who are largly older than yourself and already have family homes..... do you see the problem. as much as living with complete strangers is an option...i cant say that i have as yet beceome THAT desperate. better the devil you know, right!

Full auto is right, the further down you go the further up the prices go...and i do live quite far down. *shrug* ill get there...in the end either that or ill go mad! lol

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